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I NEED TO PEEE!!!!!!!!!!
It was management class. Air cond was freaking cold...ok ok..it was not..but those that know, know how fast I freeze!!!! So i was freezing, I thought wearing long sleeves would cut it, but...was still cold! CIS! So sir was going on and on and on...there was no opening for me to excuse myself. I mean...I can't just walk out of the class....ok..i can la...but thats so UNETHICAL (so is grabbing people's asses....but thats not the point!). SO, yes, i manage to unshamefully, walk to the front, seek his permission and leave.
Ok..so the usual toilet on the 2nd floor is out of order. SO, i had to walk to the other side of the 2nd floor to reach the other toilet!...I reach there, it was getting cleaned- no entry. FINE! I walk down one floor- toilet on that floor was UNDER RENOVATION! So, i assume the 3rd floor toilet would be getting cleaned as well, so i take the lift to the 4th floor-DYING TO PEE! REAL BAD! So i walk to the toilet, thinking, "if this toilet is out, its blog worthy! I mean! Come on...what are the chances of...OH MY FUCCKK!!" It said no entry- lady was cleaning. So i walk down to the third floor...I enter the toilet..FULL! EVERYONE HAD TO PEE AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME TODAY!!!! So I tried to patiently wait for my turn whilst giving dirty stares all the other pee-free girls. Happily chatting and laughing, enjoying the comfort of an empty bladder..while I watch and wait in AGONY!!!!
(PS: Coffee and choc is a lethal combination!....like drugs...it shud be banned! nyehehehehhehe)
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INTO THE CHASMS OF BLACKNESS THUS, IT IS HERE....The time where I must succumb to its bitterness, its stench, its pain. It petrifies my entire body!!! I can resist its temptation for it does not tempt me, but in order to survive these crucial times...I must give in! It used to be just once a day, but now.....my doses have increased, I can't help it. The blackness, the darkness....oh how I loathe and squirm even at the thought of it. I MUST TAKE IT..... .......COFFFEEE!!!!! CIS! It exams and assignments time again! Deadlines! RAARRR!!! I can't stand coffee, it is just so bad. I've heard it a ga-zillion times how "one day you'll grow to like coffee"....it aint happening sweetie, not it this life time....or the one after that, and surely not the one after that, or even the one after that. Why I do not like coffee? Simple....it is not TEA!!!!! I need my TEA!! Cuz tea is just AWESOME! Why is it awesome? CUZ ITS TEA MATHAFAKA!!! You get the point... Well...so the first cup of coffee has begun, and surprisingly, one cup just aint cuttin it no more! : YIKES!!! Once again, I fell asleep with my head on my laptop. =_= Not good....not good! You cant blame me, accounts aint exactly a bundle of joy and excitement to learn. Why can't we just get back to barter system! YOU take my COW, i give you 5 chickens!...or maybe 6-7 chickens...but then that depends on how much ur cow weighs, how old is ur cow, what breed, does it...hmmm.... i'm beginning to see the point of accounting... Oh well...of for a cup of Coffee and back to assignments.
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STALKERS BACK!!!! So, on Friday morning, I wake to an early sms, Mr Stalker wishing me a plain and simple good morning. He'd use to do that a year ago...msg me without fail everday. And of course i'd never reply. So i did the same, I did not reply. Then, he sent me another msg asking if i'm in college or not- I still don't reply. Then another sms comes in, telling me to be careful on the streets-same thing, I don't reply. Fourth msg comes in, telling me to take care...watch out for snatch thiefs bla bla bla....-I still dont reply, and last one telling me to have a nice day( I would if u stopped bugging me and spreading rumours of 'US'=_=). This happens between the time span of 8am to 12pm plus.( to think the guy would get the hint). Then at 5.35pm to around 6pm plus, he called non stop for like 4-5 times. And OF COURSE I did not pick up. Damn creeeepy ok. Most of us, who have been mutual friends with him agree that he is a little psycho, a bit deranged maybe..... He stalked where I lived. He'd call like 6-7am in the morning, telling me he's outside my place and if i'm interested in going to botanical gardens with him, he'd see if my cars at my place and tell me he knows i'm home and if I wanna go out. That freaked the shit outta me! There was even a time where he msged the same msg content to my frenster, facebook, e-mail and handphone! HOW CREEEEEPPPPPPPYYYY IS THAT OK?!?!??!?! Have not seen him in college lately, and I hope to NEVERR SEE HIM EVVEERRR!! Well, you can't say I have a boring life! Just another day in the life of Nat.
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Life's all about the DRAMA HAPPY DIWALI!ok...so this week has been one insane week...drama drama drama.....but the thing is, i'm not in any of it! Case 1: The bachelor who wants the unreachable -not cuz she's so high above him...cirsumstances is such thats its just hard to work out.Case 2: The over smothering bf and the confused gf.Case 3: Lets just say, DON'T fall for you best friend's gf...Case 4: The bachelor who got his heart broken but still yearns for her....it's been a year, and he still loves her. No one is to blame. It's amazing how people actually want to take my advice....everyone here is older than me, way more experienced in relationships...and they want this 21 year old's advice : Kinda hillarious actually. What's even more funny is i give them so much hope about love, life...the future..... and at the end of the day I leave none for me. But, dun be sad for me, I think, I got to where I am because I never really relied on hope. I worked for everything I am and that I've becomed. I'm proud of me:) From this fat, quiet, insecure girl to Natasha Khanum, but there's still a loooonngg way to go! Isn't life just AWESOME!(no...i'm not being sarcastic...it really is)
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WHY I wonder how the future will be like? I mean, 10 years from now, would the home we called Earth even be in existence. I see two ways of how we humans will be wiped out. 1) Mother Nature Well, as history has mentioned time in time, evolution is inevitable. The only thing constant in this world is change. It is one of the most natural things for organisms to change according to their environment, in order to survive. Example, how certain frogs may change their gender in a unisex environment, just so to mate and produce off springs. Thus is the journey in life. It's natures way of surviving. So, what happens when human beings threatens the very existence of this planet? What happens when we humans kill this planet bit by bit. The evolution of nature comes to play, showing us its mighty power to smite us, with all its wrath- earthquakes after earthquakes, tsunami, hurricanes, the WORKS! All in a short period of time. Natural instinct of nature, or anything of that matter- go on the defensive and wipe out its threats. It's sad to think that as technology enhances, and with the in-depth knowledge that we have on substances and chemical reactions, we'd be more aware of its dangers and side effects, that we would prevent it from destroying the enviroment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Deluded by power, pride and of course the root of all evil-MONEY. We seek happiness in these material things at the expense of the other living organism that we share this earth with. We should not forget that we are parasites. Raping earth of all her resources. But she won't take it anymore, the fury we have cumulated in her heart has exploded. She will wipe us out. Every blow she gives, thousands die....we can have the best safety equipment and be fully prepared for a natural disaster, but.... nature is unpredictable and there is nothing we can do. We can try and change our ways...our entire lifestyles....but the ways of man...convenience is always priority. I feel, it might just be too late...it's sad really, we destroyed our lifesource. Well, aside from mother nature... 2) Self Destruction We shall fight till sticks and stones! Nuclear plants, reactors, weapons....wars....corruption....we're killing each other...all for what? Power? Pride? As time progresses, as we move into the new age...the age of information. Where knowledge and technology combine, creating a whole new level of complex homo sapiens. Yet, we still have the basic medieval ideology, kill, conquer. The quest for more power is never enough. As i write this, I am deeply saddened by the hurt that we humans are causing on to each other. WHY? Why would u do this? How can u not see the evilness in you're act? How can u not feel pain and remorse when u see someone else suffer?!?!? How can u be human, and yet be so inhumane! People using religion to spread ideological beliefs. Religion as a tool for murder, a weapon of mass destruction. It sickens me and embarasses me to the core. How do you not see the evil...HOW!?!?!?! You claim u fear god but massacre thousands of innocent!?!!? I just don't get how people can be so evil. How can u have so much malice in your heart?! HOW! Using something so pure, to do something so repulsive. Religion to kill?!?!?!? Amazing...thus is the evolution of mankind. We shall kill each other, till we've destroyed all civilization and forms of democracy. Then, even after we have lost all our weapons and shelters, we shall lift stones and sticks, and fight to the death. Why? because....because what? When we are cut we all bleed...red, cut us,...we all feel pain. Then why? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!?! This question perplexes me so much...can't u see...CAN'T U FREAKING SEEE!! I'm tired, i'm off to sleep. I'm fed up. I'm sad. I feel useless. I wanna change the world. I want peace. I want love. I want people to open up their eyes to the true meaning of life.
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KEEP YOUR FEET GROUNDED GIRRLLL!! There are moments in life that just lift you up so high in the clouds, that you lose all sense of realism. Everything seems peachy. You live in the perfect imaginary world
that even logic does not even exist. You think not of what the future holds and expect everything to just fall into place. I'm a very level headed, logic driven girl, and almost NEVER get caught in situations like this. I've seen what it does to people, and told myself...NNEEVVVAAAAAAHHH. But i guess it is inevitable to completely detach your heart from oneself. I mean who wouldn't like to run away from the harsh and scary reality just for a bit. Let's face it. It is much more easier to live in made up bliss than to face reality. Unfortunately for me, I dwelled there a little too long. The bouncing back to reality was a little bit harder than expected. Good news though, i'm getting there...almost back there actually :) . My life long buddies, LOGIC and SENSE, whom have always stopped me from getting myself entangled in this whirlpool of emotions have kicked back. Time to focus and prioritize logically. Back to that, something i'm very much familiar with.
This heart needs a rest, this year has seriously been a handful with too many shocks and blows. I'll give it a rest now. Numb all emotion maybe? That should help it. Distract it from everything else. Distraction is the key. It has worked all my life anyway.
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I NEED TO PEEE!!!!!!!!!!
It was management class. Air cond was freaking cold...ok ok..it was not..but those that know, know how fast I freeze!!!! So i was freezing, I thought wearing long sleeves would cut it, but...was still cold! CIS! So sir was going on and on and on...there was no opening for me to excuse myself. I mean...I can't just walk out of the class....ok..i can la...but thats so UNETHICAL (so is grabbing people's asses....but thats not the point!). SO, yes, i manage to unshamefully, walk to the front, seek his permission and leave.
Ok..so the usual toilet on the 2nd floor is out of order. SO, i had to walk to the other side of the 2nd floor to reach the other toilet!...I reach there, it was getting cleaned- no entry. FINE! I walk down one floor- toilet on that floor was UNDER RENOVATION! So, i assume the 3rd floor toilet would be getting cleaned as well, so i take the lift to the 4th floor-DYING TO PEE! REAL BAD! So i walk to the toilet, thinking, "if this toilet is out, its blog worthy! I mean! Come on...what are the chances of...OH MY FUCCKK!!" It said no entry- lady was cleaning. So i walk down to the third floor...I enter the toilet..FULL! EVERYONE HAD TO PEE AT THE SAME FUCKING TIME TODAY!!!! So I tried to patiently wait for my turn whilst giving dirty stares all the other pee-free girls. Happily chatting and laughing, enjoying the comfort of an empty bladder..while I watch and wait in AGONY!!!!
(PS: Coffee and choc is a lethal combination!....like drugs...it shud be banned! nyehehehehhehe)
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INTO THE CHASMS OF BLACKNESS THUS, IT IS HERE....The time where I must succumb to its bitterness, its stench, its pain. It petrifies my entire body!!! I can resist its temptation for it does not tempt me, but in order to survive these crucial times...I must give in! It used to be just once a day, but now.....my doses have increased, I can't help it. The blackness, the darkness....oh how I loathe and squirm even at the thought of it. I MUST TAKE IT..... .......COFFFEEE!!!!! CIS! It exams and assignments time again! Deadlines! RAARRR!!! I can't stand coffee, it is just so bad. I've heard it a ga-zillion times how "one day you'll grow to like coffee"....it aint happening sweetie, not it this life time....or the one after that, and surely not the one after that, or even the one after that. Why I do not like coffee? Simple....it is not TEA!!!!! I need my TEA!! Cuz tea is just AWESOME! Why is it awesome? CUZ ITS TEA MATHAFAKA!!! You get the point... Well...so the first cup of coffee has begun, and surprisingly, one cup just aint cuttin it no more! : YIKES!!! Once again, I fell asleep with my head on my laptop. =_= Not good....not good! You cant blame me, accounts aint exactly a bundle of joy and excitement to learn. Why can't we just get back to barter system! YOU take my COW, i give you 5 chickens!...or maybe 6-7 chickens...but then that depends on how much ur cow weighs, how old is ur cow, what breed, does it...hmmm.... i'm beginning to see the point of accounting... Oh well...of for a cup of Coffee and back to assignments.
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STALKERS BACK!!!! So, on Friday morning, I wake to an early sms, Mr Stalker wishing me a plain and simple good morning. He'd use to do that a year ago...msg me without fail everday. And of course i'd never reply. So i did the same, I did not reply. Then, he sent me another msg asking if i'm in college or not- I still don't reply. Then another sms comes in, telling me to be careful on the streets-same thing, I don't reply. Fourth msg comes in, telling me to take care...watch out for snatch thiefs bla bla bla....-I still dont reply, and last one telling me to have a nice day( I would if u stopped bugging me and spreading rumours of 'US'=_=). This happens between the time span of 8am to 12pm plus.( to think the guy would get the hint). Then at 5.35pm to around 6pm plus, he called non stop for like 4-5 times. And OF COURSE I did not pick up. Damn creeeepy ok. Most of us, who have been mutual friends with him agree that he is a little psycho, a bit deranged maybe..... He stalked where I lived. He'd call like 6-7am in the morning, telling me he's outside my place and if i'm interested in going to botanical gardens with him, he'd see if my cars at my place and tell me he knows i'm home and if I wanna go out. That freaked the shit outta me! There was even a time where he msged the same msg content to my frenster, facebook, e-mail and handphone! HOW CREEEEEPPPPPPPYYYY IS THAT OK?!?!??!?! Have not seen him in college lately, and I hope to NEVERR SEE HIM EVVEERRR!! Well, you can't say I have a boring life! Just another day in the life of Nat.
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Life's all about the DRAMA HAPPY DIWALI!ok...so this week has been one insane week...drama drama drama.....but the thing is, i'm not in any of it! Case 1: The bachelor who wants the unreachable -not cuz she's so high above him...cirsumstances is such thats its just hard to work out.Case 2: The over smothering bf and the confused gf.Case 3: Lets just say, DON'T fall for you best friend's gf...Case 4: The bachelor who got his heart broken but still yearns for her....it's been a year, and he still loves her. No one is to blame. It's amazing how people actually want to take my advice....everyone here is older than me, way more experienced in relationships...and they want this 21 year old's advice : Kinda hillarious actually. What's even more funny is i give them so much hope about love, life...the future..... and at the end of the day I leave none for me. But, dun be sad for me, I think, I got to where I am because I never really relied on hope. I worked for everything I am and that I've becomed. I'm proud of me:) From this fat, quiet, insecure girl to Natasha Khanum, but there's still a loooonngg way to go! Isn't life just AWESOME!(no...i'm not being sarcastic...it really is)
|
|
|
WHY I wonder how the future will be like? I mean, 10 years from now, would the home we called Earth even be in existence. I see two ways of how we humans will be wiped out. 1) Mother Nature Well, as history has mentioned time in time, evolution is inevitable. The only thing constant in this world is change. It is one of the most natural things for organisms to change according to their environment, in order to survive. Example, how certain frogs may change their gender in a unisex environment, just so to mate and produce off springs. Thus is the journey in life. It's natures way of surviving. So, what happens when human beings threatens the very existence of this planet? What happens when we humans kill this planet bit by bit. The evolution of nature comes to play, showing us its mighty power to smite us, with all its wrath- earthquakes after earthquakes, tsunami, hurricanes, the WORKS! All in a short period of time. Natural instinct of nature, or anything of that matter- go on the defensive and wipe out its threats. It's sad to think that as technology enhances, and with the in-depth knowledge that we have on substances and chemical reactions, we'd be more aware of its dangers and side effects, that we would prevent it from destroying the enviroment. Unfortunately, that is not the case. Deluded by power, pride and of course the root of all evil-MONEY. We seek happiness in these material things at the expense of the other living organism that we share this earth with. We should not forget that we are parasites. Raping earth of all her resources. But she won't take it anymore, the fury we have cumulated in her heart has exploded. She will wipe us out. Every blow she gives, thousands die....we can have the best safety equipment and be fully prepared for a natural disaster, but.... nature is unpredictable and there is nothing we can do. We can try and change our ways...our entire lifestyles....but the ways of man...convenience is always priority. I feel, it might just be too late...it's sad really, we destroyed our lifesource. Well, aside from mother nature... 2) Self Destruction We shall fight till sticks and stones! Nuclear plants, reactors, weapons....wars....corruption....we're killing each other...all for what? Power? Pride? As time progresses, as we move into the new age...the age of information. Where knowledge and technology combine, creating a whole new level of complex homo sapiens. Yet, we still have the basic medieval ideology, kill, conquer. The quest for more power is never enough. As i write this, I am deeply saddened by the hurt that we humans are causing on to each other. WHY? Why would u do this? How can u not see the evilness in you're act? How can u not feel pain and remorse when u see someone else suffer?!?!? How can u be human, and yet be so inhumane! People using religion to spread ideological beliefs. Religion as a tool for murder, a weapon of mass destruction. It sickens me and embarasses me to the core. How do you not see the evil...HOW!?!?!?! You claim u fear god but massacre thousands of innocent!?!!? I just don't get how people can be so evil. How can u have so much malice in your heart?! HOW! Using something so pure, to do something so repulsive. Religion to kill?!?!?!? Amazing...thus is the evolution of mankind. We shall kill each other, till we've destroyed all civilization and forms of democracy. Then, even after we have lost all our weapons and shelters, we shall lift stones and sticks, and fight to the death. Why? because....because what? When we are cut we all bleed...red, cut us,...we all feel pain. Then why? WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?!?! This question perplexes me so much...can't u see...CAN'T U FREAKING SEEE!! I'm tired, i'm off to sleep. I'm fed up. I'm sad. I feel useless. I wanna change the world. I want peace. I want love. I want people to open up their eyes to the true meaning of life.
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KEEP YOUR FEET GROUNDED GIRRLLL!! There are moments in life that just lift you up so high in the clouds, that you lose all sense of realism. Everything seems peachy. You live in the perfect imaginary world
that even logic does not even exist. You think not of what the future holds and expect everything to just fall into place. I'm a very level headed, logic driven girl, and almost NEVER get caught in situations like this. I've seen what it does to people, and told myself...NNEEVVVAAAAAAHHH. But i guess it is inevitable to completely detach your heart from oneself. I mean who wouldn't like to run away from the harsh and scary reality just for a bit. Let's face it. It is much more easier to live in made up bliss than to face reality. Unfortunately for me, I dwelled there a little too long. The bouncing back to reality was a little bit harder than expected. Good news though, i'm getting there...almost back there actually :) . My life long buddies, LOGIC and SENSE, whom have always stopped me from getting myself entangled in this whirlpool of emotions have kicked back. Time to focus and prioritize logically. Back to that, something i'm very much familiar with.
This heart needs a rest, this year has seriously been a handful with too many shocks and blows. I'll give it a rest now. Numb all emotion maybe? That should help it. Distract it from everything else. Distraction is the key. It has worked all my life anyway.
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ur average girl still searchin for answers to questions she does not even know...
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