Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Posted by: Natasha
Time: 7:01 AM
Comments: 0
Mom is home. Finally :) It's all normal again.

Saturday, April 25, 2009
Posted by: Natasha
Time: 6:07 AM
Comments: 0
Road to Recovery
Today marks the 4th day my mom has been in the hospital and the second day in the ICU. My heart breaks everytime i have to kiss my mom goodbye, it breaks to see her in so much pain, my god, i feel so helpless, i can't do anything. Even the Doctors are clueless as to what is going on.
Mom got admitted into adventist hospital on Wednesday morning when she started to vomit blood. Doctor suspected viral fever or maybe dengue but they we're not sure. Blood test indicated negative for dengue.
After 2 days in adventist, Doctor still could not put her finger on what was wrong, referred mom to 'infectious diseases unit' at the general hospital. God i hate the GH, it gives me a very depressed, gloomy feeling. I used to visit an aunty with cancer there and she passed on, so it brings bad memories and feelings.
Within a few hours, mom began to have difficulty breathing. The GH transferred her to the ICU for close observation, the Doctor suspects its dengue(this was friday), then today, her fever which she had since last friday has not come down, so dengue most probably has been ruled out. They're still not sure what it is. Mom's liver is inflamed, but thank god it's getting better. The problem now is that her lungs, and throat are infected and she can't even talk. She's got water in her lungs, Pneumonia, but she also has symptoms of dengue or a viral fever.
I try to cheer her up, but mom is so down, staying at the ICU at GH is terrible.Honey, Dad and I have been rushing in and out of the ICU everyday as much as we can. We're there at 8am, we leave at 9pm. Visiting hours are so short but any chance we get, we're by mom's side. We're practically camping outside the ICU.
We've been going back to a house that does not feel like home. I just realised Home is where my mom is. I'm so stressed right now, my heart is so heavy. None of us had anytime to react emotionally, it was one giant roller coaster and still is. I miss my mom so much it hurts, it breaks my heart. I've remained strong through out this whole thing and will have to continue to remain strong, for honey's sake, dad's sake and of course mom's sake.
For all of my friends that have been msging and calling , thank you so much for your thoughts and prayers. Mom will recover soon.

Friday, April 3, 2009
Posted by: Natasha
Time: 1:48 AM
Comments: 0

Oh where oh where has Natasha gone? oh where oh where can she be???

Well, I tell you one thing...SHE'S back! =D I had the craziest 2 months of my life! INSANE!! NO breathing room, no chocolates and no ice cream...YES people...i did not eat chocs and ice cream for 2 freaking months!!! No...i was not doing some wacky diet, I had joined to be a dancer for a performance called 'Manimal Day'. It is more of an abstract experimental movement piece.

The show was directed by Kent Tan, and he had very intense trainning lined up for us. Example, imagine holding a position for more than half an hour - no moving, fixed, static at that position (this is just the simple part of the training). Try walking one whole round around youth park on all fours-it hurts like hell..oh yeah...bare-footed. We had rehearsals every friday, sat and sunday, 6 hours of training. One word...PAIN....its been one week frm the day of the show...and the skin underneath my foot are still pealing...i can't wear sportshoes!! i hv not hiked in 2 weeks! :(

Training has been an extremely tiring and mentally exhausting one. Every rehearsal begins with the usual warm up and stretches, but with VEERRYYYY SLLOOOWWWW movements so you feel every single minor or major muscle in your body. It hurts like hell but we need to control, the mind will tell you it hurts, but we control our body, we can chose to give in or go on. How many times I wanted to yell "I QUIT!!!" Pain and discomfort always causes me to lose focus.

Even a simple movement like walking, when decreased in speed, hurts! It is amazing at the amount of muscles that work just for a single movement. You can feel every inch of your body when you SLOW DOWN. These exercise have definately made me more aware of my body! Many times i was like "DUDE! you mean there's a muscle there! OMG! I've never felt pain there!"

One of the objectives of Kent was for us to break from our usual norms and go beyond our comfort zone- trust me, he achieved it allright, i did not feel comfy with any of the movements....i was in constant pain!

He wanted us to not use the direct approach to express emotions, but to express emotions using alternative movements. For example, anger, if I were to express anger, I’d use big loud angry heavy aggressive movements; HOWEVER, that is a direct approach. It is possible that a simple or small movement can be used to show anger. How? Well, that is the problem I faced. Breaking free from the norm is easier said than then done. It takes a lot of experimentation.

We had to do lots of presentations....lots based on 3 'poems' he had return. Deep, he never interpreted the poems for us...till today...he wants us to do and act and feel the emotion based on
our own understanding. I'll post the poems soon.

The training was very hard on me. Being the ONLY GIRL, I did not have as much stamina as the guys did, which is quite a bummer. I could not jump high enough or run fast enough. DAMN! and seriously, i thought i was really active and's time to kick up the intensity in gym! Well, i have to admit,honestly, i gave it my 100%. I dunno how i look performing, but as long as i knw i placed my heart and sole on stage, it's good enough for me. :)

More info and pictures, check out this link: The pictures, i proudly say....are wicked!

Here are some photos taken by Honey:

ur average girl still searchin for answers to questions she does not even know...

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