Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Posted by: Natasha
Time: 3:10 AM
Comments: 0
All because I wanted to dance in the rain...



I don't know why, when it rains, everyone gets worked up. Traffic increases, people drive worse off, plans get cancelled, people get lazy. So common to hear the excuse of - "it's raining la...".

But what is rain but just water, I mean,.....when i was a kid...i loved the rain! REALLY! I loved running out and playing with rain! Just something about it was so liberating!!! To just be....to not care....to have the moment....can't really describe it, but i know i loved it....

I guess when you are a kid, everything is exciting. The rain, thunder, lightning nature...everything was intriguing. I miss that! I miss that there was always something new to see, to touch to hold to learn. Through the eyes of a kid, the world was beautiful. I can't remember how it was to have no worries.BUT, at that point, all I wanted to do was GROW UP. I remember everyone telling me, being a grown up is not fun. RUBBBISSHH!! How can it not be fun! You can do whatever you want! You can buy all the toys u want! You can eat ice cream for breakfast, lunch, tea and dinner!!! You can sleep after 8pm!!!! OMG!! THE LIFE!!! ...Boy was I deceived....

As I grew, bit by bit, the veil infront of my eyes slowly fades away. I see the world...for what it really is. I think, the world has changed, people are more materialistic and nasty now. Selfish. Pursuing their own goals at the expense of others. Sad. Rush. Rushing to catch some unknown future, loosing themselves in the moment. Never fully being able to live and embrace the present....but...somehow....I think the world was always like that. It has never changed. I was just protected in my mothers arms.

I realised the world was amazing....and then I hit 7. And it was that age, I knew It was just a painting that I was looking all this while. I grew up real fast. At that age, I went through a lot, family, friends....the main reason why I matured real fast was cuz i wanted to protect Honey. I just could not bear the thought of Honey going through the crap I did! I NEVER EVER WANTED THAT! The pain of your heart breaking because something was not what it was meant to be....its horrible. Now, I'm leaving, I'm sacred as hell to leave Honey...alone. I know she is a strong chick...she'd pull through. But i've always been there....her whole life. And suddenly, i'm gonna be Kilometres away! OMG!!!! It scares me! I won't be able to be there for baby sis when she needs to talk at like...3am in the morning. I'm gonna miss baby sis! SO SO SO SO SO MUUUCCHH!!! I feel so guilty for just leaving her like that. I don't know if i've been a good sister. I never had a manual of "Being a Sister for Dummies". She was born....and that was that....I was an older sister. All I remember is...I did promise myself that i'd take care of her and love her too bits. I hope I did just that!

Man!!! I'm gonna stop this instant..if i go one summore....water works are gonna begin! and this whole blog post came to be all because I wanted to dance in the rain!!! :

ur average girl still searchin for answers to questions she does not even know...





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