Past, Present, 2012
Doesn't the thought that the world ending in 2012 kinda spoil the fun outta life?
Well, for me, I would have just finished my degree 2011, and graduated. I'd work for a year plus...and then die!!!! And it is not like i'm doing a fun Artsy degree....I'm doing accounts. I wasted my life doing A-Levels science subject- phsyics, chem, maths...the works....then i kill myself with my accounting degree!! WWHHHAAATT THHEEE F*******!!!
Ok...now on the brighter side....err...I know it's here somewhere...where is it....if only i can find ot...wait ahh....LOL.
So after the movie, it got me thinking. I had to questions in mind.
Q1: If I could live my life again....what would i change?
Q2: If the world were really gonna end in 2012, how would I live my life henceforth?
Question 1, would I change any event in my life. Answer: No.
It is not because I've had the most perfect life. It is just a simple fact that I was shaped by even the most smallest of details in my past. Every event, be it bad or good has brought me here. Dare i say, I've understood myself more through all the bad/negative events that have occured in my life, rather than happy ones. Anyone can handle happiness and smooth sailing, but I believe we human beings are defined by our worst moments. Moments that test us, moments were we are compelled to make decisions, moments thats brings about harsh realizations. I've never had anything easy. All that I am, I worked for. I never got anything because I was someone's daughter, I achieved certain goals because of me. As a 21 year old, that gives me a sense of my self. A sense of self-actualisation.
I grew up real fast as a child. Everywhere I went, most over used comment, "you're very mature for your age". This comments started when I was 10 years old, and I've been hearing it ever since. At first, while growing up, I thought it as a form of formality, small talk, but as i grew up, i realised my friends didn't. How they perceived life, and how I did, there was a vast difference. I never exactly had 'besties' growing up-nor did I see the use of having besties. I've never had a fixed group of friends in my life. Every time, I'd hop from group to group- not on purpose, it just happens. This year....the 'besties' in January, June and now, are all different. I guess maybe because I need change. People aren't so open to change which is sad. Once they find their comfort zone, the tendency to just dwell there becomes almost a natural course of action. I can't do that. My ideologies change, view in life...everything!
Just a week ago, someone told me that I "still have a long way to go". Don't we all have a long way to go? Is not life but a process of learning. A gateway of knowledge just waiting to be downloaded into our minds. We're all learning, everyday, every second. Of course I have a long way to go, the world, the universe! I can live forever and still discover new things about life, and myself. I do not think one can judge a person based on the length of time she's lived on this earth, but rather the experience she has had. I'm not saying I have experienced it all, but I do think I can give sound opinions. Some did tell me I was pretty philosophical for my age! LOL!
I think, people should not take me for granted. Beneath this loony girl, is a whole lot more of complexities that even perplex me!!! ok...this can go on....
Question 2, assuming the world is really gonna end 2012, what would I do?
Honestly, what can you do? I'd live my life the way i've always lived it-by my rules. No reason for me to throw away my goals and deviate from my principles. Honestly, If u think about it. Death is inevitable, sooner or later, we're bound to stare at it in the face! So if we have lived our lives all this while normally with the full knowledge of death at hand, why should it be any different if the world ends 2012. Of course the thought of how we'd die does scare me, but wht can you do? This time it is outta our hands. It's time we man up to all the pain we caused mother nature and face the consequences.
